Monday, May 14, 2007

Brand Upon the Brain!

Winnipeg nutbag Guy Maddin's newest, Brand Upon the Brain!, is getting the deluxe treatment at NYC's Village East Cinemas this week. Not only is the director himself in attendance, but there's live orchestra, foley, and narration by a bunch of other famous weirdos including Lou Reed, Justin Bond and Crispin Glover. My screening was narrated by TV on the Radio lead singer Tunde Adbembe (who seemed pretty normal actually).

This all may seem like bells and whistles to distract the audience from a experimentally boring movie, but it's not the case. Though not as grand as his best-known film, The Saddest Music in the World (where current BUTB! narrator Isabella Rossellini played a double amputee walking on glass legs filled with beer), this new film grabs the audience with paternal claustrophobia, Universal monster/sci-fi images, and a healthy dose of psycho-sexual confusion.

The story begins with a young Guy Maddin and his sexually repressed teenage sister Sis stuck on their parents' island, where the family runs a lighthouse and a orphanage. Their mom watches their every move from the top of the lighthouse and their father conducts experiments in a lab (back to camera) all day. Their lives are disrupted by the sudden appearance of Wendy Hale, one half of the famous teen detective/harp playing Lightbulb Twins. Guy likes Wendy, Wendy likes Sis, then Wendy impersonates her brother Chance in order to get Sis, then Guy likes Chance (in a George Costanza/Dan Cortese kind of way). Oh, and their parents may be sucking the life force out of the orphans through holes in the back of their necks.

The whole experience is highly recommended (but pricey...$30/ticket). It only runs a few more days, so catch it if you can.

Also, it turns out that the lovely Katherine E. Scharhon who makes a cute boy and a cuter girl, lives in Brooklyn. If you see her, please give her my number.


Tuesday, May 8, 2007

The B's Movie Diary

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

-Thin Blue Line
4 stars
errol morris this movie such a low grinding pace that i was able to maintain a level of numbed pissed-offness throughout. and then i just listened to the soundtrack and took a lovely phillip glass inspired nap to unwind.


Monday May 7, 2007


-Rugrats in Paris
3 stars
"rugrats in paris" is no "wild thornberry's movie", but it is better than the rugrats/wild thornberry's crossover. fuck you, i like cartoons.

Friday May 4, 2007

-Midnight showing of Spiderman 3 on IMAX
2 stars
nepotism killed spidey. as alex says, "this is why you don't let your brother write your scripts". my brother may pick his nose and then high five me so he can wipe it on me, but at least he didn't ruin my franchise.

Saturday, May 5, 2007

The Good Shepherd


Slow, sparse and totally underrated, THE GOOD SHEPHERD deserves a look on DVD if you can stand the 2.5+ hr run time. It's surprising to see an American movie have the balls to stick you with such a unlikeable character for such a long time. DeNiro had been trying to make this and thinking about it for 10 years, and it shows. Reminds me of something Coppola would have directed in the 70's, and there are nods to The Conversation and the first two parts of The Godfather here too. (Coppola is an Exec. Producer here).

Never would have guessed that Matt Damon would appear in drag, mud wrestle naked men, and get peed on in the first 20 minutes though. Yale seems pretty fucking weird. Was comforting to think that at one point George W. Bush was forced into a similar situation.

Friday, May 4, 2007

EXCLUSIVE: Galactus in FF2!!!

One of our scoopers sent in this early pic of Galactus, eater of worlds in the upcoming Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. Check him out here.

Spider-Man Forever

Pro:
-New Goblin storyline, including Harry the happy retard
-Sandman's birth
-Brock rivalry
-"get me some milk"
-Connor Oberst-Parker
-Venom effects
-most scenes, if cut by 10-30 seconds
-Harry and MJ as Pacey and Joey

Neutral:
-disco hands
-everybody cries
-2 songs
-making eggs and doing the twist
-Aunt May still not dead
-JJJ's vibrating desk

Con:
-jazz hands
-coincidences, aka Why is everyone everywhere?
-the butler
-weird motivations
-alien symbioite increases piano skills
-Gwen too hot, distractingly so
-plot points literally falling out of the sky
-newscasters getting more lines than Thomas Hayden Church
-NES boss battle finale
-new cast and characters making it obvious how the series should have been set up in the first place
-no Spider-Ham

What happened?
-too many cooks
-letting the director's brother write the script (when your brother isn't Jonathan Nolan)
-one too many villain, probably Sandman
-Sam Raimi deciding that since he's asked every 10 minutes if there's an Evil Dead 4 on the way, he better make it so no one wants to see another Spider-Man ever, at least directed by him

Anna's notes coming soon